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So i really dont know how i should titlethis so im just going to leave it blank.

When i woke up this morning, i would have never guess that tonight would end up so emotional and convicting for me. Its just sad that it took a friend's misfortune and positive life radio to help me to come realize some things.

This is hard for me to type because i honestly dont like to admit my mistakes and emotions to people, most of the time i try to pretend like nothing is wrong but what is that solving?...NOTHING. So this blog is going to be a reminder on what i, Heidi, need to work on.

1) Being judgmental....Tonight i was talking to a friend about T.V. Christians.. you know what im talking about...the Christians on T.V. shows like "wife swap" that are so far out there in left Field that it gives us Christians a bad name...as we were going on about how we hate about how people get their guards up with us when they learn that we walk with the Lord that it hit me..Us Christians....well, I do, i can't speak for everyone else..do just the same. I honestly have stopped talking to people once i found out that they were huge drinkers, or that they dont believe in the Lord, or even if they look Gothic..i probably wouldn't really make an effort to get to know them. What kind of message does that send to non believers? Im lucky that i had found my way to the Lord but just because i have doesnt make me any better than the next person. I sin. You sin. we all sin. The only perfect one is God himself. What i am trying to say is that i can love the sinner but hate the sin. Just because they do something doesnt mean im going to do it. Im a grown woman and i know the difference between whats right and wrong....but Maybe i have pushed a friendship away when in all reality I could have let the Lord use me to help bring them closer to him. I know i need to surround myself with God's word, i totally agree on that...but that doesnt mean i can't reach out to those who dont know him yet. If i judge them, then im no different from those who judge us....

2) Being Fake.....I hate acting like everything is hunky dory fine when really inside im just having a bad day. If i want to cry...i should cry! if i feel like dancing around like a craze lunatic....why not just do it? As my son grows i want him to feel like he can be himself.. how am i going to teach him that if i cant do the same thing?

and now

3) i have no patients. How do i expect others to have patients with me when i can show them the same respect!

As you can see i have done alot of thinking tonight and i feel good about what i came up with and i am excited to act on what i need to change!!!!