Hey Everyone!

So i know i haven't been on here in ages. Between Mikee and this pregnancy i have been a pretty busy momma! But i did want to get on here real quick and share a new blog that my amazing husband has taken on. Its Mikee's story. What we are hoping this blog will be is a place where we can share all of Mikee's hospital stories, undates, and the real life of a family with a special needs child..Most people we meet alway say "wow that must be hard" but we feel very blessed to have our son and the life we live...we hope that this site can reach out to other families who are going through similar situations in their life. that it can be a place where they can feel support. God gave us Michael for a reason, and we want to share his blessings:)

The Site is: http://thekirsteins.blogspot.com/

Tis the Season!!

Hey Everyone!

Well its official, i am OBSESSED with the Christmas Season! I love walking into my home with all our Christmas lights on, a Fire burning, and spending the time with my two favorite men! Every night since Thanksgiving, Andy, Michael and I try to watch a Christmas movie together, And so far we have done pretty well! We also decided that if Andy had a chance to be Santa Clause and to move us to the North Pole we would in a heartbeat!!! Just imagine that life!! Anyways we came up with that idea after watching Tim Allen's " Santa Clause" lol. Go figure!

Another good reason for our happy mood is that this month there are NO SCHEDULED hospital visits. Last month was rough on us and we just need the break. Mikee had to be flown to Seattle Childrens Hospital on the 8th of November and we were there for 10 days due to an unexpected hospitalization. His seizures were way out of hand and it was now effecting his heart rate and oxygen. He had numerous testing that included EEG's, MRI's, EKG's, a swallow study, a Spinal Tap, and Genetics... He also had to have a NG feeding tube placed in him because he lost over 5% of his body weight. Once his seizures were able to be better controlled and his Oxygen levels back to normal they released us back home JUST for the holidays. We have to go back the 1st of January. We still have Zero Diagnoses but we honestly have the best team working on him trying to figure things out!

Since we have been home though, Andy and I are making sure that this month is "magical" for Mikee. We are doing as much as we can with him. Baking cookies, seeing Santa, having random dance parties, decorating the house. Basically just spending as much time possible together. I really feel his happiness in all of this and it just makes my heart burst. Even on the "bad days" he has a huge smile on his face pushing through the obstacles!

I hope this season is magical for everyone. I honestly feel like this is going to be the best one yet and im very thankful to God for all of it, because i know it his hand guiding it all!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Hospitals

So this past Friday Mikee was admitted into the hospital because his seizures were uncontrollable and left his whole left side paralyzed for 3 days. We went through the normal procedures...Go to the ER, give him the shot to help control seizures (which never really works), watch Elmo in grouch land (every time we are there) wait for a few hours for the doctor to come in and tell us that they have consulted his normal doctors in Seattle children's and they both came up with the conclusion that they have no clue on whats going on with mikee, that the seizures are more sever but the tests are all coming up normal.So they want to admitted him for a night to monitor. Mikee seizes alittle more. Screams because he is a 3 year old who is trapped to a bed with wires and an IV and doesn't understand while he can play.Then we go to bed and wait for the doctor to come back in the morning to tell us nothing has changed, that there isn't much they can do for mikee, that the doctor in Seattle is now passing on Mikees case to yet ANOTHER doctor, and that we can either stay in the hospital for another night or bring mikee home. We decided to bring him home so we can monitor him and so he can be comfy. Fun way to spend your weekend, No? What i don't understand is how can we be apart for 2 amazing hospitals, and have 25 doctors working with him, and not one of them can figure this thing out....I'm sick of hearing that mikees condition is a rare one, that its a Mystery... not the most comforting thing for a mother to hear. I know that God is in control, I understand that, but i would love for him to clue me in on a few things, that would be nice!

Update

So this past year i have been HORRIBLE on keeping this thing updated, i feel like it has flown by and I'm just running to keep up. Anywho, here is a few updates that is going on with our life:

Mike started school this week and LOVES everything about it. At the moment he is the only child in the afternoon class but at the end of September he will be getting a few more classmates.. Since it is a special needs Preschool they are making sure there is only a few kids in the class. But Mikee doesn't seem to care, he loves all the one on one attention, he is a HAM!

This month i lost two of my grandparents, My grandpa on my mom's side and then my grandma on my dads...all in the same week. Kinda rough! I ended up having to go down to Oregon to help my parents with the planning and just to be there for them. I was there with Mikee for two weeks and we shared an air mattress...Lets just say I'm not looking forward to sharing a bed with him anytime soon...he actually shoved me off the bed a few times....

Mikee is now three! we celebrated his birthday on the river at my parents place! We even took him out on the tube (With a life vest, Andy and I, and we were going about one mile per hour) but we were going so slow we were just sinking. He thought it was hilarious though and couldn't stop laughing when Andy and I alone went on the tube...there was ALOT of shrieking going on, and not just from me lol

Still not pregnant...i go back and forth if i think its time or not. We are not trying but i know that we want another kid soon...i just don't know when. I don't know if i could handle another miscarriage.

Andy got a Promotion at his new job! He seems really happy there! who wouldn't love to work in a bookstore?!

Mikee is still full of seizures......nothing much has changed on that front except for they are getting more sever......Still a happy camper though. Right now as i type he is posing in his mirror with his helmet cracking himself up!

Oh i woke up this morning to a bare naked child playing with his toys and peeing on the floor...fun....

And last but not least! I WANT IT TO BE TRUE FALL WEATHER!!! no more of the 80's stuff, i want it to be cold, i want my cute sweaters and my pumpkin spice! And to decorate my house:)

Alrighty, i will try to be better at this stuff! Have a great day

Ansty

Soo Im getting kinda Restless today... Michael had a rough morning, okay day, and he is wired for night time...which scares me because he was UP ALL NIGHT last night. I think he is having nightmares or something because he wakes up frantic, crying for "momma" and then passes out in like 5 minutes! It kinda breaks my heart because he looks so scared!!!!!!!!! I almost resorted to sleeping in a sleeping bag on his floor but the child ALSO talks in his sleep (mostly yelling out loud "HI") and no sleep for me makes on cranky mom!

Anyways, i was watching the Country Music awards today (DVR) and i decided that it is my goal in life to attend one show! Im a big country fan people. I think i would have a heart attack if i went. Also it was held at the MGM Hotel in Vegas and i have so been there...I hardly go anywhere so i get excited when i see places on tv where i have actually been! By the way, Lady A...love that group!

So this weekend i was trained as a Batista for our church....3 hours later i was put in charged. I love coffee and now i can make my own..coolio!

I decided today that i am going to at least go on a walk 3 times a week...i dont care where, i dont care if mikee is with me, i just want to go on a walk, which hopefully will turn into a run later on.I want to loose weight!!! Oh and im doing bloomsday this year...anyone want to walk it with me?


Well that is the rambling of my life....here are some pictures to make up for my nonsense!

My turn

Okay, So the past month i have been getting some comments from people that kinda hurt. I usually tell them what i think when it happens but with me being kinda emotional i have tried to bite my tong and walk away...with that said i do have some things i kinda want to clear up...

Number one, I AM A CHRISTIAN...contrary to some beliefs i HAVE asked the Lord into my heart. I do know that he is My Father, My Creator...some people have it in their mind that if you believe in God you are not able to get angry at him, and if you believe that, more power to you...I'm not here to tell you how to live your Christan walk..But for me i believe that is okay for me to be angry...to have questions...I will never be fake in my prayers to him...if i want to yell, I'm going to yell...same with crying. I know that God understands, and i know that he cares. There would be something wrong with me if i didn't feel that way at this time in my life....I'm angry that my baby girl died, that my husband lost his job, and my son is still suffering. I know that God has his master plan in this and i cant turn my back on him...but knowing that still doesn't mean I'm not allowed to hurt and I'm not allowed to have a real relationship with God...I have NEVER once said i don't believe in him....so to those who say I'm not grieving the Christian way, i thank you for your concern but i disagree. I don't judge you, so please don't place judgment on me.

Second, I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS STRUGGLING! seriously people, I'm not blind. But that doesn't mean I'm NOT ALLOWED to feel this way. One thing i cant stand is when people who haven't been through anything like this come to me saying that their life is perfect and how if i have their attitude mine could be too...I DON'T WANT PERFECT...i just want my family to have some breathing room from constantly struggling with medical issues. Once again i know you are trying to help....but please think about what your going to say before you say it...sometimes its best not saying anything, i would still know that you care.

And at last, I am thankful for what i do have! I do have an amazing husband who has been my rock throughout all of this. Who has held my hand, who has been my best friend, whose love has carried me through all of this. I have a son who never fails to make me smile. Who teaches me that EVERYDAY i have with him is a gift! My Parents who if i call asking, they would drop everything that second to come to my rescue! Thankful for having a job that can let me have the time off i need when there is medical issues and to help pay the bills here. And not least, For a God who DOES love me, Who DOES understand how i feels, And who forgives me for when i question his ways at times, even though i know he will always lead my family the right way.

Welp i think that's it...This is what i believe and this is how i feel. If you don't agree that is your right, Just like this is my right to stand up for myself.

Our baby Girl

So yesterday we found out that the baby we were going to have was a girl...We decided to name her Rose Marie...my rose.